What's in a name

Heeeeeeey yooooooou. This phrase runs through my head way too often. I am horrible at remembering people’s names. I can spend a semester in a class with someone, talk to them daily and not remember even what letter their first name starts with. I have forgotten acquaintances and years later encounter the awkward meet-up. I can remember a face, but I don’t always remember from where I know them. This “forgetting-disease” seems to apply to names only. Otherwise I can have a good memory. I can remember who was at my birthday party when I was eight. I can remember hundreds of art history terms and how to make pizza dough from scratch. But names seem to leak out of me head as soon as I hear one. I once spent a travel trip with a group. We toured places as a group and spent lots of time together. Realizing I didn’t know the name of one of the girls, I decided to use the “I need your number” decoy. It went something like this.

Me: Oh hey I don’t think I have your number is it ok if I get it?

Girl: Yeah sure! ***.***.****

Me: (typing in my phone) How do you spell your name? I want to make sure I get it right.

Girl: A-M-Y.  Amy.

Me: Oh, I was just checking to make sure. Sometimes people have weird spellings. (I feel awkward now.)

Girl: Oh yeah, I know how it is. One girl I know spells it Aimee. (walks away).

I quickly have learned quickly that the “phone-trick” is not my remedy for my name-forgetting faux pas. Instead, I made a half-year resolution to remember names. The fact is, everyone loves hearing their own name. And, remembering names can increase a person’s popularity, help in the business world, and gain friends. I have learned that the key is to be genuinely interested in people and to not be afraid of repeating a person’s name until you get it right. Dale Carnegie, a noted public speaker and author of How to win friends and influence people writes in his book, "we must keep in mind that what we really want to do is to remember people - their names are secondary. So it is important to give people your total attention, become genuinely interested in them and want to remember them." 

Although I am not perfect now, I can see the difference in my life making an effort to remember names. With a little work, it turns out I no longer have a “name-forgetting disease.” Hopefully I will no longer have the awkward run-ins with faces I don’t remember. Only time will tell.