Trying to be like water

One most evenings one can find Kushal Bhattarai sitting in a cross-legged lotus position, basking in the pristine solitude of the Taylor chapel.  Enveloped by tranquil white walls and high beam ceilings, the chapel is a perfect place to meditate.  During a trance-like state, Kushal relaxes his fingers, resting them over his knees as the invisible worries of the day seem to imaginarily float toward the large sturdy ceiling rafters. 

            “Meditation is more of a spiritual thing for me.” Kushal said, “Going through all the schoolwork, my mind is all over the place.  It helps me bring focus to my life and helps me calm down and become more focused and observant…It brings peace and helps quiet my mind.”

            Kushal is not your average BYU-I student.  Kushal is an international student from Nepal studying physics.  In Nepal, after his older brother graduated high school, he went on a study-abroad to Germany. 

            “I was also planning on doing a study-abroad like my brother so I can work anywhere.”  Kushal said, “you can work anywhere in the world if you are educated.”  If Dushal was in Nepal, life would be different.  He would have two jobs.  He would join the cops like his brother did and go to school to study mathematics because, “Everyone studies mathematics to work with computers.  [There is] the concept of everyone being the same.” 

When friends and relatives discovered he was leaving for America, they had mixed feelings.  Some did not like the idea of him being so far away in a different country and culture.  His family, believing in higher education told him to “stay focused in your school, don’t forget that is the main reason you are there in that country, to [bring] back to your country.”

            Because we live in an increasingly global world, opportunities for students like Kushal to leave their homeland and obtain a more diverse education, experience and skills for employment is more prevalent than ever before. Although there are many factors contributing to the rise in international integration, the rise of international student enrollment in U.S. Universities plays a large role.  According Allan Goodman, president of the Institute of International Education, “The number of international students at U.S. colleges and universities reached an all-time high, nearly 691,000 during the past [2010] school year.”  Last year, the Institute of International Education said that 103,260 students came from India, 98,235 from China, even 11,581 from Nepal. 

            Kushal is an example that BYU-Idaho is also following the national trend with record enrollment of international students.  According to Mike Oswald, manager over the International Services Department, there are a total of 454 international enrolled at BYU-I this year, the second greatest number of international students ever recorded on campus.  This great influx of students is undoubtedly an asset to the student diversity of the University, but also presents challenges to the foreign students.  International students not only have to deal with the rigor of U.S University academics, but have to adapt to their new social, cultural, and linguistic environment.

            Except for the Native Americans, our country is made of immigrants and continues to experience culture adjustment almost daily with the influx of those from other countries.  However the question is often avoided:  What happens to individuals when they attempt to live in a new cultural context?  If culture is such a powerful force of changing behavior, do individuals act in a new setting as the did in the previous one, or do they allow new cultural influences and expectations to influence their behavior? Or is it a complex combination of keeping the old and adjusting to the new? 

            Kushal is learning how to juggle the constant dichotomy between old and new: old customs, new culture, old beliefs new perceptions, old identities, new personas. Being a convert to the church, Dushal not only learned customs and cultures here in America, but a new religion as well.  Before he was a member of the church, he had never heard of Jesus Christ.

            “ I was a Hindu-Buddhist.  The first time I heard about Jesus Christ it was shocking, but after awhile it made sense.”  After hearing about the missionaries from his brother in Provo and joining the church, Kushal decided to transfer from LDS Business college to BYU-I.  When his parents found out he became Christian (specifically Latter-Day Saint,) they were supportive.

            “They believe that there is one ultimate God, but everyone gives him a different name.”  His parents recognize that there are universal truths in all religion: Love one another, don’t kill, be kind to others, be honest, and so they supported his decision to embrace truth.

            Here at BYU-I Kushal continues to balance between the traditions of his homeland and continues to learn American culture and make new friends.  It hasn’t always been easy.

His twin brother is what he misses most about home.  Growing up and sharing everything together, Kushal’s brother was his friend even when he did not have many.

            “He knows when I am lying.  Even my mom couldn’t tell when I was lying or not, but he could tell by my eyes.  He was the only person that really [knows] me.  I think he would be the only person on my side even if the whole world was against me.”  Kushal not only faces challenges of missing family and friends but adjusting to a new culture. 

“One time when I was talking with a bigger girl at school, and she was asking where I was from… halfway through I said, ‘hey, you’re really fat!’ she said ‘seriously?’ and walked away.  I could tell she was pissed… In my culture you cannot ask a woman how old she is… but you can still tell a girl she is fat.  You can say, ‘You’re a fat girl.”

            Another amusing mishap of cultural differences included a time when he was meeting with a bishop.  In Kushal’s culture, phsycal touch is something that is avoided and shaking hands is virtually non-existent.  As a typical greeting the bishop reached out his hand awaiting a handshake.  Instead, Kushal immediately though, “Oh no!” and bowed down mumbling “Namaste” instead as is custom in his culture.

            “[For an] older person you bow down to be more respectful…but he felt awkward…Now I am used to those things.”

Awkward situations that in retrospect are humorous are part of the complex process of adjusting to a new culture. There are many ways to adjust to a new culture, each person having a slightly different experience.  Malcolm Lewthwaite, author of “A Study of International Students’ Perspectives on Cross-Cultural Adaptation” suggests that there is a process to cultural adaptation.  First there is “culture shock” which can be seen as a crisis of personality or identity.  Being exposed to an unfamiliar culture often rips away all that is familiar about oneself leaving an individual with questions about identity.  According to Martha Staff Assistant Director of the International Student Services at University of Hawaii Manoa,
      “Identity is embedded in culture including family culture, ethnic culture, national culture, regional culture, and today, the culture of social networking.”

One major concern that is often highlighted in the media One major concern that is often highlighted in the media is that the natural response to counter-act “culture shock” is for many students lives are segregated in ways that reinforce their ethnic, racial and cultural identities.  This self-segregation, often referred to as “Balkanizaton” often conjures up negative images of Brown vs. Board of Education era mentalities, stereotypes, concern, and surprise.  According to Troy Duster, Director of the Institute for the Study of Social Change, some critics argue that it “as open assault on the common community... and “undermines the educational promise of a genuinely multicultural college community.” 

Despite contrary reports, self-segregation is not a dominant part of campus life today.  Students sometimes choose to live, socialize and study with other student’s from similar backgrounds. However this shouldn’t be considered “Balkanizaton.”  According to Anthony Lising, “research suggests that this clustering isn’t widespread; it doesn’t prevent students from interacting across racial/ethnic lines; and it may be an essential ingredient in many students’ persistence and success in college.”           

Martha Staff said on the University of Hawaii Manoa campus “students create a personal support network that includes students and friends from their own national/ethnic culture as well as students and friends from other cultures, including local culture.  15 years ago, some international students from particular countries associated mainly with students from that same country, but today, that does not appear to be a strong desire among our international students.”

Daren Shillingford, former president of International Student affairs at Florida International University shares a similar viewpoint.
     “Associating with students of similar background helps to improve your college experience. [However] if you limit it only to these students then it may 'limit' your opportunity for diverse interaction.
     Kushal understand the importance of surrounding those with similar culture as well as experiencing a variety of ethnicities, backgrounds and customs.  In Nepal, almost all food is from scratch and there are no ready-made meals, so they know what they are putting into their bodies.  His roommate Sashii went to the same highschool as Dushal and has devised a system so they can enjoy the home-cooked meals that are so important to them.  They guy all groceries together and divide the bill into two at the end of the month.  They then take turns cooking meals every night so they have time to study.
            “[Sashii’ helps me keep my culture.  He has made it easier [because] we have the same eating and living habits.  He understands my language and is there to listen to me.” The close bond between roommates is evidenced not only in their willingness to share but the manner in they refer to each other.
            “Sashii even calls me ‘dai’ which means ‘brother.’”

            Kushal is a prime manifestation showing that quick labels such as “self-segregation” or “Balkanization” are too simple and narrow minded.  Cultural pride and honoring traditions is a basis for self-affirmation and self-esteem.  Cooking, eating, praying in native tongue, and participating in cultural tradition helps international students adapt to new surroundings, as well as enrich the college experience for both natives and non-native alike. 

Although Kushal might not understand all American culture, he is learning.  Kushal     enjoys sharing his culture.  Kushal enjoys regular yoga classes in the Hart, which other students every Monday and Wednesday.  Students learn how to control breath and use different postures in a hour long session, followed by a five minute meditation period. 
            “ I don’t really think five minutes is enough, to meditate.  Sit down for two hours, now that is a good meditation.”
     For Kushal, yoga is more than an engaging extracurricular activity.  It is a way to preserve a regular tradition he was enjoyed for most of his life.  Kushal also claims that along with meditation, regular yoga helps him in his studies because it helps him be more efficient.  In addition to sharing his love and cultural tradition of yoga with others, Kushal is also a member of the Physics Society on campus, which holds activities and events related to the science program he is interested in pursuing. 
     This practice of coming together and sharing tradition is not a new phenomenon.  It has been occurring ever since the Pilgrims landed the Mayflower.  We live in a pluralist culture.  Nearly all of us have a hyphen before the word “American” because virtually all of us come from immigrant ancestors. Sharing culture, as well as socializing and interacting with those who have common traditions, goals, and races make the college experience more fulfilling as well as prepares us for the world ahead.  Cross-cultural skills are developed as well as tradition and cultural heritage is preserved by natives providing educational and social opportunities for college students.  Culture adaptation is a process of learning, self identity, and the balance between preserving culture and adopting new cultures. Darren Shillingford said, “It is quite hard for many people to understand that there can be a balance. We just need to be open minded to understand different culture, even practice it a bit to show we understand it. For example when a TV host on the Travel channel engages in some ritual etc. he or she does it for the experience and does not mean that his or her cultural identity is affected. Acclimating to a new culture doesn't mean you will lose your own but many may think why risk it.”

            Although Kushal has a different background from many students, he is just like every other college student.  He handles the challenges of academic rigor, the stresses of working, the uncharted realm of dating, and the enjoyment of new friends and experiences.  To Dushal, living in America and going to college is similar to water.  If water is put into a glass, it will take the shape of the glass; but when the same water is added to a bowl, it will take the shape of the bowl.  His family’s parenting advice was “Be like that [water], fit in everywhere no matter where you go, but still keep your heritage.  If you are in a different country dissolve into that culture, but if you come back to Nepal you have to be like [the glass.]”

Kushal said, “I try to. I try to be like water.”